What A Weekend


I was anticipating this weekend for the whole week. He asked me out. I hadn't had this feeling for quite a while - all excited and looking so much forward to it. Usually I'll be like, okay, I've a dinner-cum-movie date coming up. But this time, it was different. It felt something more. I guess I got too excited, so much so that I fell sick (don't ask me why, I've no idea). LOL. As the weekend drew nearer, I had a fever, sore throat, stuffy nose. Gosh, I can't have all these coming now. So off to the doc I went on Friday. Had quite an early night, to make sure I get enough rest for the date.


We had Jap food at a nice restaurant at Plaza Singapura. I bet the food was great, but I couldn't really taste well, after all those pill popping and a stuffy nose. Heh. Then we stayed on and chatted before we went for the movie - 40 Year-Old Virgin. Not a bad romantic comedy, I wonder why it wasn't advertised on the papers. I saw it featured on MSN Today, and so I clicked and had a look at the synopsis. Seems quite nice, indeed it was! I couldn't stop laughing, especially the ending, I think you would ever guess how it ended. I'm not telling, you got to go catch it and find out! Hee.


Then we had some time left still after the movie, so we went Swenson's and had ice cream - STICKY CHEWY CHOCOLATE! Yummy.. and we chatted, about almost anything - buddies, money, future, blah blah blah.. Till I started to stone, and we decided it was time to head home. LOL


All in all, it was wonderful outing, I really enjoyed it. Hope he did too. Somehow I can't help but wonder if I can be a good GF. Well yeah he said that to him, I'm a GF-to-be. It made me feel good about myself, that someone can appreciate me for who I am. 'Cos I never thought I would be good enough for anyone. It's this fear that one day he will start telling I should do this, I shouldn't do that, start picking on my bad points. The thought of it demoralizes me. Yeah you can say I'm thinking too much, but I'm really afraid history will repeat itself, that I'm not good enough. I'm so afraid of making mistakes that I didn't want to move. I was comfortable in my comfort zone.


It took me a lot courage to tell him that I'm clapping with he said it takes two hands to clap. I had so much fear and uncertainty - not about him, but more about myself. I'm setting such high standards for myself that sometimes I think they are so ridiculous. I guess the experinces I had had made me behave this way. Sorry. Then again, I hope he doesn't make assumptions when I said I'm clapping. It only means that we are seeing each other and we are playing our part to make things work. We are still not an item okay. Not officially. I don't want the silence-means-consent thingy to happen again. 'Cos either one of us can rebutt one day that we never were an item in the first place, since the question wasn't popped. Not that I am fussy about it, but I want to play on the safe side. I trust him enough that he won't let it happen, but more of myself. I'm not trying to tie myself down here, but I want myself to commit to it. So if anything were to happen, I bear the consequences. I want to learn to be responsible.


Well, I like the feeling about this relationship and hope it slowly develops further. Right moment, right place, right person. Thank you Lord. Thank him too, for coming into my life.


-Ping'er-