Don't make it the air that you breathe

I was talking to my buddy this afternoon and I asked him, "How do you tell if a guy is in love with a girl?"

He described the state as "drunk" - drunk with love. Doing things that he doesn't normally do, like queueing for hello kitty, chatting over the phone till wee hours in the morning.

But of cos, this is all subjective, depending on the circumstances and several factors. Different people express their love in different ways.

We cannot always let our heart overtake our thoughts. It is good sometimes, but doing too much is not good. We got to think with our brain, and stay rational. Our - women's especially - emotions tend to blow things up when the matter is pretty simple and small. For intance, we are in an early stage of a relationship, we are in constant contact with each other. Once either one or both get busy, we get lesser time to contact. This might lead to a feeling of negligence. Cos a large amount of Oxytocin is produced when we are in love, and it gets addictive. So we get withdrawal symptoms when the addiction kicks in. That is when we start doing silly things to get attention. That is when our emotions overtake our rational minds.

What I am trying to say here is, don't take love as the air you breathe in, and dont depend on it for survival, cos with or without it, life still goes on. Life can still be great, there are still many other things out there that need your attention. Keep yourselves occupied, after all, it can keep you away from all those irrational thoughts.

If you know that your partner loves you, stick to it, believe it, don't doubt it. God does not send you a partner to stress you out. He send him/her to help you out, to help you grow. He wants you two to grow and learn together.

It might not be easy, when you have so much emotions running through your mind. So when you start having irrational thoughts, STOP!!! Think about red light.. picture that STOP!!! And slowly think things through, it might not be as bad as you think it is. As I mentioned, sometimes, our emotions magnifies the situation, till it's so LARGE that we cannot handle it. But it is not entirely true.

So remember..to think rationally..

P/S: This is adapted from the conversation between my buddy and me. I felt it is very meaningful. And I hope to spread this message across to as many readers as possible. =)

Three stages of relationship

Dependence, Independence, Interdependence

In the beginning of a relationship, a couple will tend to be more dependent on each other, a period we call the "honeymoon" period. A period where everything and moment is like a fantasy, a fairytale.

We would not be tired of each other's company, even if it's for the whole day we are together. It just doesn't get enough. Every moment is a wonderful moment. Whatever we do, it doesn't matter, just as long as we are doing it together.

After being together for a while, when honeymoon is over, we get busy with our own stuff and life. We become independent. That is, the main focus of our life is not so much about each other anymore. We focus on our career, our intellectual and spiritual growth.

Gradually, we growth to be interdependent. Even though we do our own things, we are still dependent on each other. That is the greatest achievement a couple can have being together.

Most of us get to the first stage. It is easy. It is the start of all relationship. The challenging part is the second, and ultimately the third. Many cannot grow independent as a couple. Either one will become more independent than the other. That is when problems arise. The dependent one tries to get more attention. He/she can do anything and everything just to get the attention. He/she do silly things, crazy things. He/she doesn't realise that this can be detrimental to the relationship.

We all see many happily married couples, and we wonder, 'What is it about their relationship that make them stay so happily together? What have they done? What do they do? What do they say?' This is a stage we call interdependence. The things we do individually affects our partner. We are mutually dependent on each other, very subtly, we become part of each other's lives, and we can't do without our partner. Very subtly - emotionally, intellectually, spiritually.

My friend Joseph told me, one of the aspects to a long-lasting relationship is to grow together constantly. Only growth can spur each other to move forward. We have a common goal. We understand each other's goal. We help each other to achieve our goal.

So, which stage are you and your partner at?

I just got home. 11th May (yesterday) was my birthday. Somehow I didn't feel any special. In fact, I almost forgot. Was it due to my busy work schedule, or that I am getting old?

Well, as usual, I spent the day at work. I was feeling a little down. Wonder if it was due to the work stress. Or perhaps due to something else?

Can't wait to see my next hp bill. Bet it's going to cost a bomb from all those overseas calls and smses. Last month's bill choked up to S$200 in just 3 days in Australia. Can you imagine the next bill? I was there for about 9 days. And I continued to sms and called to overseas after my return to Singapore. I should really cut down. Afterall, I won't be able to claim it from company.

Sigh. Sad and heavy day for me. So much so that I just feel like crying out loud. No one can understand the agony I'm going through except my Lord. He knows why I am behaving this way.

I realise to be Yan Ping is just too hard to survive in SR. Yan Ping is a very gentle and feminine lady actually, and very quiet and soft-spoken too. This characters are not really favourable in SR. SR prefer CoolCat. One who is firm, masculine, loud and direct. Just like a man.

I shall be CoolCat. I shall follow the Word of the Lord at this time of loss.

DATE WITH DESTINY - PART 2

Here are some of the shots we took at the event.

At the day of pre-registration - Lena & I taking our time before the Japanese and Chinese come to register. Behind is Jennifer getting some work done. And one of the crew trying to figure out for us on how to activate the local sim cards.
Cat & Peacock of SR!
Participants coming in at the last minute to do registration, while the rest are eagerly waiting for the doors to open..
More waiting and anticipation from people all across the globe..
Lena & I posing - our SR dinner party. All SR customers are invited! From Japan, China, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Indonesia, Singapore, Malaysia, UK, Brunei, many, many more...
Crazy and fun-loving Indonesians! Make a move!