You are one of the few out there whose wings are
truly ANGELIC. Selfless, powerful, and
divine, you are one blessed with a certain
cosmic grace. You are unequalled in
peacefulness, love, and beauty. As a Being of
Light your wings are massive and a soft white
or silver. Countless feathers grace them and
radiate the light within you for all the world
to see. You are a defender, protector, and
caretaker. Comforter of the weak and forgiver
of the wrong, chances are you are taken
advantage of once in awhile, maybe quite often.
But your innocence and wisdom sees the good in
everyone and so this mistreatment does not make
you colder. Merciful to the extreme, you will
try to help misguided souls find themselves and
peace. However not all Angelics allow
themselves to be gotten the better of - the
Seraphim for example will be driven to fighting
for the sake of Justice and protection of those
less powerful. Congratulations - and don't ever
change - the world needs more people like you.


*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

Well I guess I've been real harsh toward my friend. Maybe I'm taking him for granted. Wonder why he's so nice to me. He's doing so much more as a friend for me! Am I worth to go so far out? I doubt so.. Wondering.

*yawn* Morning shift today. ZzZ monster is catching up on me. Reached home at 3 plus this morning, slept at 4am and got up at 5.10am! I'll be a walking zombie today.. Got yakking by mum, as usual. *haha* Went out with Candy and friend Terry. Was planning to head home after dinner at 9 plus till we walked past K-Box at suntec. So we decided to go sing for A WHILE. Ended up we sang till the shop close! *haha*
I've been to ktv several times with AM people, but I never sang. *shy shy* Well I had a lousy experience years back. Went to sing with my friends then and sang Right Here Waiting, ended up I sounded like a duck! Ever since then I dare not sing into a microphone..
Last night went there and sang my heart out! Felt great! Didn't know my singing improved so much.. *haha* Sang songs by Sammi, Sammi and MORE Sammi! My voice suit her tunes too! Sang many other songs too (more than 5hrs of singing, how many songs are there? *hee*).
Well I really enjoyed myself. Guess K-Box will soon become one of my addictions coming near to shopping! *haha* Its also a way to make and get to know more new friends. My friend's friend, his friend's friend, her friend's friend..

Went to watch Along Came Polly last night, greatly recommended by Candy who watched in Thailand. In the end she watched with us again. *haha* But throughout the whole show she was hitting her hp keypad non-stop! Busy girl. Well the show wasn't really any spectacular, probably 'cos I've anticipated what was going to happen next in the plot (thanks to dear Candy!), until the last few minutes when Reuben's dad opened his mouth and spoke for the first and last time in the entire flick, and the part where Reuben went after Polly. Made me realise. So HIT! Many things I thought I've let go, still remained all along. I thought I was so incredible, till I realise I've always been avoiding the truth. These few years, I've gradually lost myself. I must find myself back and enjoy life. My mood feel so much lighter now as I'm writing this blog. It's a whole new enlightenment! Pain, yes, I still feel painful. But I'm not going to keep thinking about it. It won't change anything either. I'm going to MOVE ON and experience every single bit of LIFE! Meet more people, open up myself to the new things. Don't want to be the SUAKU anymore. Don't want to let people feel I'm WEAK and always need to depend on others anymore. I may be tiny, but I will not be the weak one. I'll be stronger than ever, and let everyone regret what they've said about me. Easier said than done, for I've been in this comfort zone for too long. But not impossible. I want a whole lot more in my life which I can talk about in future. A path few want to tread upon. Hopefully I can be like Polly. *hee* Get to experience so much about the world.

Well I guess I can't fool myself. I don't want anyone. No one else except him.. I was smsing Maeve and she told me loads more stuff. Made me realise again. There's so many other people around me who are going through situations worse than me. What's mine compared to theirs? They still can be magnanimous about it. I believe I can too. I'm committing myself to something I may never know what the outcome is. But I'm willing. 'Cos with no risk, I may never know how far I can go, even if it takes to waste my time away. God - I'm giving myself HOPE and COURAGE to go on walking, even if it's the wrong path. I BELIEVE you've eyes to see what's going on down here from up there, and I BELIEVE you'll give me what I deserve eventually. Being the woman behind a successful man is never an easy task. But I'm willing to take the risk and take on the task.

Well I guess I'm a utter stubborn girl who doesn't believe that the truth is out. Kept making myself believe there's hope between us. It over. So so over. I'm already the past. It pains me so much. But truth always hurts. I'm just stupid enough to keep hanging on to it. It always so much luckier to be loved than to love. But many prefer to love, 'cos that's what they want. Or it that not?

Went out with my friend, sis and her bf on V-day. He got me a watch. $129. So expensive! I shouldn't have let him get it for me. What does this mean? I wonder. I mean, friends go out at most give a treat with a small gift normally. But such an expensive watch? He's not a money printer eh! He insisted in getting it for me, so I obliged. Did I do the right thing? I wonder.
He's really a nice guy. My whole family likes him. They are all asking why not consider him. To me, he's a wonderful guy. He was always there for me when I was at my worst moments of my life. Always trying to cheer me up, make me feel better. I did thought of considering him. But I guess he's too good for me. Especially at this point of time, the more I can't. I don't know what I really want. I'm afraid I'll treat him like a substitute. Or is it that I'm just too afraid? Keep saying we've no sparks. I just don't want to have any. Too afraid of the outcome, whether good or bad. Perhaps I'm just too gutless to go through all this all over again. FEAR. That's the thing that's been haunting me all my life. I guess it'll be till the day I lay in that box. Somebody please give me some courage to stand up and walk again.
Zhihong, Maeve and Candy others kept telling me someone will surely cherish me better. My cousins and aunts told me if I don't let go, that someone will never appear, nor have the chance to. My family told me Joe's not suitable for me. So many have said it. Yet I choose not to listen. I know it's all the truth. But I'm too afraid to believe. I'm afraid to do anyone wrong - to do him wrong.
Perhaps I'm didn't dare to give myself another chance. All that trauma almost killed me. Or was it I didn't even want to give him a chance to prove himself worthy? Hadn't he proved enough?
In the past whenever he asked me out I'll gladly agree. We are great friends, so we go out. But now something made me hesitate. I'm afraid of the matters of the heart. I just refuse to let things happen! Even if it's a good one. Sometimes I simply hate myself for being so wishy washy. Argh. Just too afraid things get complicated and may turn out ugly. But what if it turns out well? I'm perplexed...

I feel so perplexed now.
So much thought in my head. My head is spinning.. Candy came back yesterday. She looked so different from before she left for Thailand! Well, she's in the same boat as me now, only that she's in a worse situation. But look at her now! So jovial, no one would have guess what had happened to her. This trip really changed her. She told me so much things, made me realised. I MUST MOVE ON. Not easy of course. Have to learn. Perhaps disappearing from here for a while is not a bad idea. Can open my mind and see things more clearly.
I'm now just too overwhelmed by the damn situation I'm in! I'm now planning. Planning to get away from here without letting others know, including my family. Well maybe I'll tell a few close friends. Definitely I won't go alone. Not that daring. I'll be going with Candy I guess..who knows. No actual plans yet. But I'm saving up.
Too many things happened these few months. It's like I'm being forced to grow up in a a short period of time. So many questions unanswered. Changes proved too much for me, but not impossible for me. I just have to take things easy and move on.

I may seem to be fighting a winning battle, but one ultimate shot from the oppenent and I'll be gone. God is not standing on my side this time. Maybe I'm only the second person who was kind enough to cover his body with my robes. How I wish I'm the one who buried him. Life is so unpredictable. Life is full of lessons awaiting us to learn, Zhihong said. This should be a tremendous and painstaking lesson I'm making myself learn. Still I can't help but ponder. Some can get want they want so effortlessly, yet some can fight with all their might and not get what they yearn for. Just a simple little desire. Well, life is never fair. Face it.

Also known widely as the Fire Bird, the phoenix is a profound symbol of life and rebirth. It has a life cycle of 500 to 600 years and after that amount of time, it sets itself on fire and dies in the flames. Then, after three days, it rises again from the ashes. It is a completely benign creature who lives in dew. It is said that the phoenix has a beautiful melodious song which grows ever more mournful as its life comes to an end. It is also a symbol of the sun and immortality.

What mythical beast best represents you?Take the quiz!

Which Royalty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.

Night shift today. Having very complex feelings now. I wonder why I just have to mess things up. I just have to resent and not be contented with my life. WHY? I really hate myself! Joe is changing, very very slowly, to suit me. Why is it that I have to expect much much more everytime? Why can't I be thankful and appreciate what I already have?
I'm so easily affected negatively. One negative opinion from others and I'll start doubting him. Why can't I just be firm and stand on his side? A few days ago he popped the question. He asked me to go ROM together on my birthday (my 21st birthday). I was surprised, thought he was only joking. I didn't want. Perhaps I wasn't sure of myself, of the relationship yet. How dumb of me! I should have thought, guys don't say such stuff as and when they like! This is a major decision! Now I blew everything up. I don't even know what relationship we are having now. Friends or couple? So questionable.. Me and my stupid weak mind! Feel like killing myself! Love him yet want to ditch him. I'm so ironic! Hate myself! Somebody help me! I really want him back..can anyone help me? Don't want to end this whole thing due to my childish acts..