Happy birthday my homeland! Time flies, yet many things can happen within a short while. The progression between me and him have accelerated so fast, that I feel it's rather ridiculous. We barely have known each other for a month! I guess chemistry does play a major part. We feel comfortable with each other's accompany, so much so that we couldn't bear to leave for home. The feeling isn't like an infatuation, nor a fling. The feeling is cosy, loving and wonderful.. *dreamy*
Went out with Candy, Ju, Don and him. Somehow we are always shy when others are around. Perhaps it's 'cos our relationship is unofficial, and that he already has an official one, so we need to keep everything low. Ju knows, and has been teasing us always. For Don, I know he's suspecting, but he's giving us the benefit of the doubt. Well Candy told him not to bother, afterall it's our personal matter. But I guess sooner or later, people will know about us. Many times I felt upset, for it's really hard on him - torn between his day job, AM, W and me. So lack of rest every night - 2-3hrs! I'm so worried about him, he's no superman, for God's sake! And his frequent headaches, he's having them way too frequently! *argh* Wish I could do something to help. Candy told me last night what I could do is to return to AM and help him with his activities. But I can't, and wouldn't want to return. Not letting history repeat itself. Well heard also that he has a cousin who is interested in joining AM, but he didn't allow. He's afraid all the teasing between me and him may reach his cousin's ears, and eventually W's. *Sigh* Pains me, 'cos all he's doing, he thinks for me. And it's really putting him in a very, very difficult fix. I just want to tell him that, never let things between us jeopardize his progression in AM. Work must always take priority! I want my man to be career-minded, and not let anything make him lose his focus! *Argh* I want to help him! Tell me how, please! He's so willing to sacrifice for me, I'm very grateful and touched. I'm at a loss of words to express how I feel now.
I keep conditioning myself, not letting the selfish side of me get the better of me. Love is unconditional, I don't want to be the one whose always taking, 'cos that's how I'm feeling. I feel he's giving so much more than me, and asking none in return.. I can sense his sincerity, and love for me. I just want to tell him how appreciated I am, though I know no matter how many times I say, it won't be enough to express my entire feeling. Thank you, my dear..

-ping'er-