I know I shouldn't be doing this, but things just fell into place. Not that I couldn't help it. The feeling was just right, except that the after-taste can be guilty and regretful sometimes.


Argh.. I'm a disaster to my life, ain't I? It's just that this emptiness can't seem to be filled ever since you were gone.. Life was never same anymore, for the good and the bad. I feel I've become so shallow, totally hate myself sometimes. Keep occupying my mind to numb this unhappiness.


I keep telling people to be strong, to stay positive, but I guess I need to tell that to myself more than to anyone. I feel I'm stuck in the pile of nonsense and can't seem to get out of it.


It does feel lonely at times you know..and you just hope that someone special can come along the way and lift you up and brighten your life. I know this will take some time, 'cos I need to see myself as a special person and learn to appreciate who I really am, before anyone can see me his special someone and appreciate me.


Well of 'cos I need to learn to trust again.. Matters of the heart - hard to understand.



-Ping'er-