What a day.. Had lots of thoughts and feelings. Been pondering for almost every moment. Pondering too much can be poisoning, that is if I'm pondering over the wrong things, which is what I've been doing these few days. Wondering why.. Got to know a few new friends, through Candy. Again. Well they are a bunch of nice chaps, as usual. Probably 'cos I'm more used to these kind of people - from AM. Somehow, they are young, capable, energetic, have a mind of their own. The saying's right - women who have been networking won't settle for anything lesser. That's me, I guess. Don't know if that's a good or bad news.
Had a chat with him this morning after having him send me home from movie Brotherhood, it was a nice feeling. It's strange that I wanted to tell him so much, everything. All my pain, all the sh** I've been through. I mean, I knew him for barely a week only, but I can feel the bond there. Rather amazing. Ever since the first time we met and chatted. Perhaps Candy told me abit about him, or perhaps not? I don't know. Well, a really nice and sweet guy I must say. I'm grateful he came into my life and became my friend at least. Giving me assurance that there ARE truely nice guys out there. Well I've always feel that guys are nice 'cos they've a motive - either they need a favour, want a good looking gal friend or they are interested in you. It's just me I know, being skeptical towards guys. Perhaps I should learn to let go of that grudge and start loving and trusting people again.
Was it 'cos of that, once bitten, twice shy? Who can make me love again? I'm terrified of the outcome, of getting hurt all over again. I tried to be strong, conditioning myself to perform at my best. Been treating people around well and letting them know I cherish them, 'cos that was what I didn't do in the past. Neglected them. Or is it that I just want to feel important to them, that I want them to feel the same way as I do? I guess I want a sense of belonging. Just one special person, who will really cherish me, protect me, take care of me. Of course love me and everything about me. Wonder when that will happen. I guess that guy will have to try very hard to break my emotional barrier, and prove me wrong. Awaiting I will be..
 
-ping'er-