In great dilemma. Feel like giving up. I feel I can't talk to him as freely as before. The trust is running thin.. The feeling is like that of when I was with Joe. Always just giving the benefit of the doubt. I'm a human afterall. I need to let things out. Who can help me? I'm always lending a listening ear to others, but who is willing to lend theirs to me? I feel I'm like an over-stuffed pot, overflowing soon. Help..

I guess I haven't really gotten over Joe, he still gives me the chill whenever he messages me. Argh! Having lots of thoughts, but can't pen them down.

Well, I just wish someone out there can give me attention, dote on me. But whenever I have that, I shun it. Why am I doing this? It's an instinct I guess. Afraid I'll take for granted and keep asking for more. I'm back to my old self again afterall. I'll never change. Life is simply dreadful. Hate it.


-ping'er-